My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
