We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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