Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
