I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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