Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
