then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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