I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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