You really coming over, don't trick.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
