What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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