Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
