I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
