He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I pour the whiskey from now on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
