Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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