maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
