Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
