I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize