It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
