so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
