Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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