guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
