dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
