Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
