I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
