If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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