Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
