I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
