This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
