it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
