And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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