I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
