I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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