Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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