he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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