i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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