so let's talk penis.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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