part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
