swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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