He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
