It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
