I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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