and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
