I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
