I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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