Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
