Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
