Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
