If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
