Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she peed on how many people?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
