We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize