Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
