he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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