i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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