I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
