To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
