We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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