If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
