That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
