why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
