I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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