Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
