no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
