I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
