He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why is there bacon in the couch?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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