You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
