That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
