I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
