i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
