So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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