hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
