He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just sharted jello shots
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