My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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